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and I'm not talking about sugar-free carbonated soft drinks.

We live in a fluff-free era—people know what they want and aren't afraid to express their opinion in ALL CAPS, followed by a series of passive-aggressive emojis. In hopes of answering your burning questions, here are 13 dating apps ranked (lovingly and subjectively) on how likely you are to end up takin' old one-eye to the optometrist.

Stop wasting your time on dating sites full of stuffy singles looking for their soul mate.

Instead, save money by forgoing horrible blind dates and expensive drinks at bars or nightclubs. It's time to get what you want, with whom you want, and when you want it.

I also make sure that I share equally with the household chores and cleaning.

I am still very much physically attracted to my wife and I tell her that I think she's beautiful and sexy quite frequently.

You can talk to a person, but can't see what they look like.

Even if you have a great conversation with a person, you're not going to want to bone them if they look like Rex from close to getting it right—the one thing they didn't anticipate: charging money kills erections faster than, I dunno, bees?

I treat her very well, provide most of the financial responsibility of our household, and make sure that I continue to take her out on dates, buy small gifts for her, bring her flowers, etc.

Our fun and lighthearted approach means you meet local singles who date, booty call, and love being single all at the same time.

With thousands of members joining daily, Online Booty Call is the number one casual dating site for single men and single women.

If only there was a magical way to skip all the drama and stay only for the fuck dates… What if I told you that we provide a service with this exact mission?

Register now and start chatting to singles near you looking for no strings sex.

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